7 Years Later

“Whether you think you can, or think you can’t- you’re right.”

-Henry Ford

And finally, there are only 2 more sleeps left until our mini-vacation.

This trip will mark my 3rd time back to my familys’ home country.

As our excitement builds, I am growing strangely reminiscent of my last time there.

When I look back at my life so far, it’s divided into “Before Vietnam” and “After Vietnam”.

I was in grade 4 the first time I went with my mom and stepdad. We stayed for a few weeks. Memories of fresh fruit, family and motorbikes are still vivid in my mind, but nothing else beyond that.

My last visit was in 2006. I went with my mom, but she only stayed for a month. I lived in Ho Chi Minh City with my other relatives for a total of 4 months.

I was 18 at the time, and a bit of a mess. I graduated high school with honors and acceptance into business management at UofT. The latter depressed me immensely. It was what my mom approved of, and I didn’t want to let her down.

I didn’t know what I wanted to pursue, but I knew that wasn’t it.

In 2006, it also felt as if all the relationships in my life were falling apart. My first love, my mom and stepdad, and my best friends were moving away for university. That was “Before Vietnam”.

I ended up declining the UofT offer and packed my bags. Why Vietnam? It was far enough from Toronto, but still familiar.

I needed to get away from all the heartache and hoped that whatever I was missing, I could find in Vietnam.

The first month with my mom there was great. We traveled a lot in the country and everything we saw and ate renewed me.

When she left, I stayed put in HCM with my relatives. For almost 2 months I didn’t do a whole lot, other than just hanging out with the family.

The magic of travel and all the romance of fleeing Toronto was beginning to wear out, and I was stuck with the same problem.

What am I going to do with my life?

The beauty of being in a new place, with no distraction of routines, and old faces made that question a little easier to answer.

At that time, I was also taking some leisure classes at a community center. Cake decorating, beginner’s vegetable carving, Vietnamese geletin desserts, things like that. They cost nothing and gave me something to do.

I love making things with my hands and I love food. That’s always been my truth.

I’m not sure exactly why, but for the first time in my life, I allowed myself to consider the option of a career in food. I finally let my mind wander to thoughts of a profession beyond the desk.

I woulnd’t mind doing this for the rest of my life.

Yeah, sure..

No, really. Why not?

This was the answer that I knew all along, but was afraid to accept in Toronto.

I wasn’t sure how my mom would react to my new found decision. She loves me more than anything in the world, but she’s always been convinced that a desk job will bring me more respect, stability and ultimately, happiness.

I decided right then and there that it was time for me to create the life that I want. And that it was the only way for me to find that happiness she wants for me.

When I left Vietnam a couple of months later, I told my aunt about my newly realized dream. She and I had grown incredibly close, and I was able to communicate with her much better than I could with my mom.

I told her that I’d be back to visit in about 5 years, and that until then, I will work incredibly hard towards eventually opening my own place. I told her I wanted to have a business making pastries that would bring people joy. And that I’d be running it within 5 years.

Now, 7 years later, I’m finally going back again.

Since then a lot has happened. I haven’t opened up my dream place yet, but I’m proud of everything I’ve done since then.

I have so many stories for my aunt when I see her. My invaluable experience at George Brown, my competitions, my life in France, my life in Hong Kong, my humble little business and the one about how I met the love of my life.

I can’t wait for her to meet Bruce, to see me more grown up and still pursuing my dream with complete abandon.